Updated: Jun 17
No twin flame experiences loss of their twin (running) in the same way, however it's very likely you'll experience the emotions below. Some twins go through the different stages in this order. Or you may even loop back to a previous stage, after you thought you were done with it.
It’s helpful to know about the stages of grief because it helps us understand and emotionally “digest” our own difficult, sometimes isolating emotions. For instance, it is normal to go through an extended period of isolation, loneliness, even depression for weeks or months after the initial running. These are actually normal phases to go through when dealing with grief.
Outlined here are the seven stages of grief so you can understand this mourning process, which is quite typical to go through when grieving not only your twin but any situation.
THE 7 STAGES OF GRIEF:
1. SHOCK OR DISBELIEF
The initial reaction to loss is often a feeling of shock. When a twin flame leaves, it brings a sense of numbness. You may when have doubt. Was I imagining our connection? Did I make it up? Maybe he didn’t feel the same way? This is a form of emotional protection. How long you have these feelings often reflects the unexpectedness of the running, and which kinds of behaviors he is choosing.
Next, the mind goes into a state of denial to avoid the pain and reality of the deep loss. This may mean you deny that the running is happening, passing off their behavior, or ghosting for weeks. It could also mean that you deny that he affected you deeply or that his running has impacted your life or emotions. Much like shock, denial is a kind of self-preservation that tries to prevent the even deeper pain in the other stages of grief.
3. GUILT & PAIN
As a twin begins to feel the full effect of losing their true love, their denial and numbness lead to much greater emotional pain and suffering. Often guilt exists because we feel he ran because I said this or that. We perseverate over “what might have been,” and feel remorseful
about missed opportunities or things we did or didn’t do with our twin. It’s important to remember that you did nothing wrong. The twin flame’s own wounds caused the running. Masking this stage by eating or shopping only makes things worse because we need to do the healing work. Tapping can work with this. Here's a video to help
Next, we try to make deals with God or the Universe. Just let me know what to do to bring them back. some this stage is useful because it gets us to release old habits that no longer serve, and truly is a time when we deepen our healing work.
In reaction to our feelings of helplessness, we may have anger at ourselves, the twin, or even life itself. Blaming ourselves, a twin or even a karmic partner may temporarily feel empowering but it is truly never helpful. We must find ways to release these extreme emotions in a healthy manner. Ho’oponopono and tapping are super tools for releasing anger.
People who never experienced depression before having challenges with this stage. Depression is all-encompassing and impacts work, relationships, health, and other areas of life. While it may seem over the top to go through a depression stage, it is actually ok to do so and is a normal stage of grieving. The other stages tend to take emotional and mental energy, so this stage is kind of a crash that allows you time to go inward to reflect and recover. Really feeling the loneliness and isolation can help you reconsider your priorities in life and set a new direction for your energy and life.
When going through depression, avoid people who encourage you to “snap out of it. You deserve someone better than him.” You cannot control your emotions like that. Instead, allow yourself to feel the despair and emptiness– not pushing it away. Just being like a loving parent to it. You can also use some tools like tapping and meditation here. Just never make yourself wrong for feeling how you feel. This stage, like the others, is part of the healing journey and is a useful time of reflection and recuperation. Here, it can be useful to pursue therapy, or get a coach who understands the twin flame experience
As you adjust back to life without your twin for a while, the depression and other intense feelings fade away. Common signs of acceptance include:
Restructuring life without the person
Cleaning out the loved one’s personal items
Working on financial and social problems
Seeking out old relationships and support systems
Beginning new projects or hobbies
Acceptance does not equate to happiness or resigning yourself to live without your love. Rather, acceptance is the stage where a grieving person makes a conscious decision to work towards a sense of normalcy and contentment again.