Updated: Aug 8, 2021
Most twin flames have experienced the runner/chaser dynamic…
for anywhere from a few weeks to a decade or more!
Don't get alarmed, we can shorten this by doing the inner work. And, it’s important that you don’t think of the runner chaser pattern as bad, wrong, or something you shouldn't be going through.
There is so much conflicting info on the internet about the runner chaser stage.
This makes it important to check in with your own inner guidance as you read:
Does this feel true to me? Does it make me feel better? Or worse?
I like to think of this stage as a natural and useful phase of development which can actually be a really healing phase of the relationship. Separation is a time during which we get to do inner healing -- healing that we might not be doing if we were in close contact with our twin.
We get to look at ourselves, our triggers, what parts of our life are in or out of alignment, and let go of being dependent on someone else to make us happy.
So do that! Take some time to journal and take stock of what's working, what's not, and why it's so bad that this person isn't doing what you want them to do.
It can be SUPER Hard. I know!! Hang in there. Get help here
Use any tools you've got: Tapping, dancing or screaming it out, my courses, Rampages of Appreciation, You name it.
And- you will get to the place where you don't NEED them so badly.
Much of the way you let go of that strong need is due to the deep work that you do during this phase. And this work on yourself is what actually draws your twin closer.
Many twins are so empathic and conscientious of other people’s needs that they bend and shift to accommodate those needs without staying aligned to what is true for them. If you continue this pattern in a relationship with your twin, it will combust because you are not really being authentic, so you'll get triggered by each other.
So separation is a great time to work on any codependent patterns. This way, when we eventually do come together, we don't have that needy dynamic. During separation, it's a great time to expand our connection to our true self, and realize that ultimately we create our own happiness.
And I know, creating our own happiness can feel like a far stretch when you miss your twin so much that you feel a deep emptiness that goes with you everywhere you go. Or that you spend your free time wondering whether they're with someone else or when that relationship will end, or if they'll ever reach out!!
We can also look at any blame we have – that our twin is doing “the wrong thing” and that what we think they should be doing is “the right thing”. Having blame or guilt that we said/did the wrong thing which is what caused them to run is a common experience, and that, too, is something to love. Forgive yourself for anything you may have said when triggered. Let the past go.
This is all coming up to help us step more and more into unconditional love. Love for ourself, and love for them. And that’s what the twin flame journey is really about. Lifting our frequency though divine love.
My twin flame workbook will be released soon. It's like a workshop you take at your own pace, designed to help you unearth those fears, judgments and perspectives that are keeping you from true love, within, and with another.
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Is twin flame separation draining you emotionally? I know the feeling-and have the tools to help! Schedule a healing session here.